MTA... Going Nowhere!

The ‎1 train. Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!  

My experience today was awful.  All I wanted to do was go home and thats all it seemed the MTA would not let me do.  I managed to survive the F train, also often appropriately named.  I made it from Carroll Street to 14th Street on the F without incident.  I navigated that godawful avenue long tunnel that connects 6th Ave to the IRT 1/2/3on 7th Ave.  I decide to get on the 1 local train because the 2/3 express had limited service to the Bronx in the middle of rush hour due to a signal problem at 96th street.  I figured that it was better to be on a local train heading home than no train at all, as did many others waiting on the platform that were inevitably going to change over to the 1 at 96th street anyway.  So, we all shuffle in the doors of the 1 train.  After leaving 14th street and any other options for transportation behind we chug into 18th street.  Over the PA system we hear, "This 1 train is out of service. Everybody off the train please. This train is out of service! There is a 1 train directly behind this train."  A few seconds later we hear, "There is an uptown 1 local train approaching the station." Yay I think to myself.  Then I hear, "The 1 train approaching the station will not top at this station." Are you kidding me? Really?  Then again I hear, "There is an uptown 1 local train approaching the station." This train they decide to let us on.  It is packed already so I pass on boarding.  Again I hear, "There is an uptown 1 local train approaching the station"  Finally!!! I get on the train local at 18st to way up here to where I live.  It manages to go as slowly as possible from station to station for 139 blocks taking like an hour to reach my stop.  As I exited the train I swear I heard, "This has been a test of your patience sponsored by the MTA. Thank you for riding although we know you have no other choice. Remember, if you see something, say something!"