Dear Mr. Dominican Man 25-35 years of age who stands on my corner, While I appreciate your persistence...

July 25, 2012

Mr. Dominican Man
SE Corner of W 157th St. and Broadway
New York, NY 10032

Dear Mr. Dominican Man 25-35 years of age who stands on my corner, 

              I'm sorry I do not know your name as we have never formally met.  While I appreciate your persistence and am really flattered, your tenacity is overwhelming.  I really thought we had resolved this months ago.  When I moved here over a year ago and you approached me on the street I respectfully declined your offer to take care of me and buy me what ever I wanted.  I, at the time, felt that it would be unfair to you because you appeared as if you could barely provide yourself with what you needed.  While I was impressed by your aggressive approach of walking up on me, boxing me in as I tried to move away from you, almost ending up in oncoming traffic; I must say that you are not my type.  I know because you are probably 'moving something' out there on B'way and thus 'get money,' you most likely feel I should be immediately enthused by your offer.  Nonetheless, I am not.  I prefer for men I date to enjoy the outdoors, yes, but not spend the entirety of their day working there on the block.  Although appealing to some, I don't find knowing that you are just downstairs anytime I need to see you appealing.  And although I am not extremely particular about a man's line of work, I do prefer that his main source of income is reportable to the IRS or at least not grounds for a lengthy incarceration.  


But, Mr. Dominican Man, we have had some good memories over the past year.  I always think back fondly of the times you continually tried to holler at me as I was on my way to work, to class, to the gym, coming home from work, going to the store, going to the train, going to the bus, taking a walk, going to get food, etc. etc.  I also remember the time my parents were visiting and dropping off some things they had bought for me.  You may recall my mom was waiting in the car at the hydrant on the corner and you took it upon yourself to stand there at the mailbox and make sure no one bothered her.  That was really nice of you.  Of course, she had no idea of what you were doing and you really scared the shit out of her but I assured her that she would have been safe in your hands if anything popped off as you knew she was with me.  Also, the time you offered to help my dad carry a large picture to my building in order to know where my apartment was was so helpful of an offer.  But alas, once again I had to decline yet another of your fabulous offers as I really did not want you to know where I lived. 

And I must note how much I especially am now enjoying how you have been intrigued by the temporary addition of my sister's dog in my household.  It is quite a real treat that each time I walk outside with my dogs you find it necessary to ask me in English and in Spanish if I am scared of you because I am now walking two dogs, and if this fear is in fact the reason I will not stop and talk to you.  And I especially like that now in your infrequent absences, your good friend has begun asking me if I am scared as well.  Well to answer your and your friend's question, no I am not scared of you, and that is not why I have dogs.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Good times.

Anyway, in closing, I write you to formally request, that although I have thoroughly enjoyed our daily banter, I can't say I'd be upset if it stopped.  It has been over a year now that you have been propositioning me and I have been saying no.  I doubt I am going to change my mind and, "be yours" as you have requested.  There was a very peaceful period of my life when I was able to walk to B'way without hearing from you.  You'd see me, say hello, and keep it moving.  Let's go back to that time when you didn't find it necessary to say something flirtatious and or ridiculous, however amusing it may have been, to me every time I passed by.  Perhaps your gregarious nature was subdued due to the colder weather? Either way, Mr. Dominican Man on W157th and Broadway, either way, there was a time when your silence was golden. Let us please return to that day.